Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Ten Fun Funky Ways to Celebrate Halloween This Month

Ten Fun Funky Ways to Celebrate Halloween This Month

1. Buy a stash of your favorite chocolate for the big day and then eat it semi-immediately as your resolve to save it for Halloween night crumbles.  Repeat as necessary. 

2.  Organize a “Thriller” flash mob at your local mall or university.  Boil up a head of cauliflower ahead of time and during the flash mob, take a bite out of it, and then throw it on the floor and moan, “Braaaaaiiiins!”

3. Buy or make a costume.  Wear it out in public weeks before Halloween.  When anyone tells you it’s not Halloween yet, whisper, “I can see dead people.”

4.  Pull out your decorations from the attic and garage and then leave them up all year.  When people tell you Halloween was five months ago, look baffled and say, “Really?  I didn’t know that.”

5.  Play a CD of organ music at 3 AM and crank it up as loud as it will go.  When the police arrive, answer the door with a mask over half your face and speak only in French. 

6. Throw a scary movie party and show The Ring.   Just before the end, excuse yourself to go to the bathroom.  Call your home phone (if you have one) or a guest’s cell phone. 

7.  Make festive ice cubes for your party by placing a dead fly or bug of your choice in each section of an ice cube tray and adding water or Coke.  Don’t tell your guests the bugs are real.  They’ll just assume they’re plastic.

8.  Bake a spider web cake.  Instead of decorating it with candy spiders, use real ones.  Fuzzy tarantulas work best.  Don’t tell your guests about your big switcharoo. 

9.  Set up a bowling alley right in your very own front yard for the big night.  Use two-liter soft drink bottles for bowling pins and small pumpkins for bowling balls.  Or dress up as Marie Antoinette and use severed heads instead of pumpkins.  Shout, “Let them eat cake!” every time you roll a strike.

10.  Whistle the theme music to The X-Files at work, at home, on the bus, on the train, or in the car pool until a screaming mob bearing torches and pitchforks hunts you down.

 The Haunted Housewives of Allister, Alabama (A Cleo Tidwell Paranormal Mystery) by Susan Abel SullivanComing October, 2012.
“Grab a peanut butter and banana sandwich and settle in for a cozy mystery full of zany characters, haunted paintings, and a big dose of Southern humor.” — Heidi Ruby Miller, author of Greenshift and Ambasadora
Who knew one gaudy Velvet Elvis could lead to such a heap of haunted trouble?
When Cleo Tidwell said, “I do,” for the third time, she had no idea her marriage vows would be tested by a tacky piece of art. But Cleo’s not the kind of woman to let a velvet-offense-against-good-taste just hang — oh no, she’s on a mission to oust the King. Trouble is, Elvis won’t leave the building. And he’s attractin’ all manner of kooks, fanatics, and lookie loos to Cleo’s doorstep, including the entire congregation of the Church of the Blue Suede Shoes.
Everyone wants a piece of the painting, but Cleo’s starting to suspect that whatever’s haunting the Velvet Elvis wants a piece of her husband. Why else would her hubby trade in his car for a ’56 pink Caddy, moonlight as an Elvis impersonator, and develop a sudden hankering for fried peanut butter and banana sandwiches? Certainly it can’t be anything as simple as a mid-life crisis, because Cleo is not getting divorced again — her mother would never let her hear the end of it.
Cleo’s life is all shook up by crazies with death threats, psychic warnings “from beyond,” kidnapping attempts, invitations to join the Blue Shoe Loonies, and even murder! Cleo’s in a fight for her life, her marriage, and the perseverance of good taste everywhere.
Read the digital edition for $5.99 from these ebook retailers:
Amazon | Barnes & Noble | Kobo
Read the trade paperback edition on October 30, 2012.

Susan Abel Sullivan lives in a Victorian house in northeastern Alabama with two dogs, way too many cats, and a couple of snakes. Her work has graced the pages of Asimov’s Science Fiction Magazine, ASIM Best of Horror: Vol II, New Myths, Writers’ Journal, and others. For more about Susan Abel Sullivan visit her author page or check out her collection of short fiction Cursed: Wickedly Fun Stories.

Praise for The Haunted Housewives of Allister, Alabama

“Part mystery, part ghost story, this humorous whodunnit will have you humming Elvis tunes and watching for the King himself to come gyrating through your door.”
— Jason Jack Miller, award-winning author of Hellbender and The Devil and Preston Black
“Cleo Tidwell has taste, sass, and heart. Unfortunately, she also has a velvet painting of Elvis. So begins a fast-paced, fun, and compulsively readable romp. The Burg gave us Stephanie Plum, Las Vegas gave us Lucky O’Toole, and now, Allister, AL, presents us with Cleo Tidwell.”
— Lane Robins, critically acclaimed author of Maledicte, Kings and Assassins, and the Shadows Inquiries series (as Lyn Benedict)
“Mystery, murder, mayhem, and…Elvis? Cozy in for a laugh-filled evening as Susan Abel Sullivan spins a ghost tale with Southern attitude and good style that you won’t be able to put down.”
— Heidi Ruby Miller, author of Greenshift and Ambasadora
“You’ll love this heroine and her quirky family and be clamoring for more!”
— Rebecca Roland, author of Shards of History
“Imaginative, suspenseful, and funny … a unique, must-have addition to your to-be-read stack!”
— Kelly L. Stone, author of Grave Secret and Time to Write: No Excuses, No Distractions, No More Blank Pages
“Fans of Stephanie Plum and the paranormal will love The Haunted Housewives of Allister, Alabama!
— Sherry Peters, author of Silencing Your Inner Saboteur

Praise for Susan Abel Sullivan

“A writer blessed with imagination and wit.”
— Hugo Award Winner Allen Steele, author of THE COYOTE TRILOGY
“Sullivan … delivers a sense of humor, wit and playfulness that cannot be beat.”
— Good Choice Reading

No comments: