My Name is Victor and My Life Sucks
So, I’ve been asked to write about why my life sucks. Well, let me start with my job. I’m an accounting manager for a construction firm here in Houston and nobody respects the work I do. I cover everyone’s ass all the time. Doing everyone’s tasks, duties & assignments. Without an acknowledgment or a simple...thanks....
All of my staff go out for long lunches and TGIF parties on Tuesday afternoons. Never with me. Oh, sometimes I get a phone call from the local water hole to join them. That's nice. Until I arrive and I am asked to shuttle all the drunk employees to their homes or to the next bar. I should not complain too much, sometimes I do get invited out to their parties. Then, stuck with the tab. Thanks, a lot.
After that, I get to go home to my ex-wife. Who claims not to be able to afford to live on her own. So, I pay her alimony and she sleeps in my bed, sans me. I also get to pay child support and tuition for an ungrateful disapproving child. My daughter goes to boarding school a ½ mile away and doesn’t like to acknowledge me, she pretended to be her classmate’s sister for the annual Father-Daughter dance.
Also, my model train set in the garage hasn’t been touched since I came down with my...affliction. And my best friend works at a blood bank & has a strange affinity for Strawberry Shortcake. So what, you say. Okay.
Did I mention that my daughter is dating a much older man who is trying to kill me? No? Yes, yes he is trying to kill me. Last but not least. I am a vampire. Yes, life sucks. It sucks hard.
Hello My Name is Eugene Foreman, Vampire Slayer. And My Life Sucks!
No one asked me to write about my life. And that sucks! Because it confirms that you are all vampire-crazy.
In your eyes, the vampire can do no wrong. You can’t get enough vampire “entertainment” – you want to read about the evil undead bloodsuckers in People magazine, you want to see them exposed on TMZ, you want them as your neighbors! You think vampires are sexy…?!? If leeches had nice hair, would you find them appealing?
I left New Orleans to escape vampire ga-ga, so that I could get down to some serious slaying. But it’s not better here in Houston – in fact it’s worse! People in New Orleans have experienced vampire tragedy over the centuries, so they at least have some understanding of the evil. Here, you’re going on dates with vampires and hoping to get bit! Too bad mosquitos don’t have lips, you could make out with them, too, right before they sucked you dry!
The vampire Victor Thetherson, he is a perfect example. His name lights up the slayer chat rooms. The slayer community knows he needs to be stopped, even if no one really understands why. Meanwhile, the rest of you are in mourning if Victor chips a fang. And I’m the bad guy for trying to put a stake in his heart.
Sure I know that’s partly because I’m dating Victor’s daughter. Sorry, but for the good of the world I am prepared to break her heart. Which is a shame, because Amberly is the prettiest girl I’ve ever known, and full of this spirit that makes my throat tickle. Yes she is a little on the young side. But that’s good, the young are better healers.
That’s why my life sucks! If you would all wake up and see these bloodsuckers as the scum from Hell that they are, I wouldn’t have to deceive Amberly in order to get close to her evil undead father, he would be an unemployed vampire bum on the street and I would slay him in the gutter in front of a cheering crowd. Then I could wait for Amberly to turn 18 and in the meantime pay visits to any high school boys trying to date her and pretend I am 100% certain they are vampires.
But instead, it’s Opposite Day, every day. Vampires rule, and slayers wade knee-deep in your drool. That’s fine. The Foremans have been slayers for generations, sacrificing for you. Destiny is loud and clear in my ear, telling me that if I take down Victor, the tide will turn.
I’m ready to suffer all your abuse if that’s what it takes to save the world. I just hope that Amberly doesn’t end up hating me. Then my life would really suck.
All the best,
Eugene The Vampire Slayer
Vampire Vic2: Morbius Reborn
September 15, 2015
Vampires walk among us. Appraising our houses, policing our neighborhoods, crossing our borders. We understand there will be biting and an occasional conversion. These are small sacrifices for the sexy thrill. We do worry about vampires popping up in positions of power. They are evolved, difficult to slay, not as sexy. A backlash grows; but are we far too late?
Victor Thetherson is nearly cured. The treatment buries the charisma and confidence that only vampirism seems able to resurrect, and snuffs his rekindled love affair with ex-wife Barbara. Victor can’t trust himself as a vampire and doesn’t want to live with himself otherwise.
Eugene Foreman dispenses wisdom on his Sage Slayer site, offs vamps when convenient, and romances Victor and Barbara’s daughter, Amberly. His sensei, the Civil War Soldier, begs Eugene to slay Victor before he realizes his deadly inheritance.
Victor versus Eugene, round two in an ancient war. With Morbius Reborn, our time at the top of the food chain is coming to an end.
“Victor Barton Thetherson has a self-esteem problem. His ex-wife bullies him. He is manager in a construction accounting firm, yet his staff makes fun of him. His teenaged daughter pretends not to know him. Moreover, she’s not above finding fake fathers to act on his behalf. It seems as if nothing is going well in his life. Oh, and he’s a vampire.”
Praise for the Series
“The writing in Vampire Vic is lively, smooth, and commercial. Vic is an extremely sympathetic protagonist, and his struggle to unleash his true vampiric potential and assert himself is a struggle that a lot of readers can relate to. There is a great voice to the writing, and Vic’s internal emotional arc is well-developed.” - Judge, Writer’s Digest 21st Annual Self-Published Book Awards (score 24/25)
“A vampire’s entertaining journey of self-discovery.” - Kirkus Reviews
From Readers on Amazon and Goodreads
“Truly a great book about defining oneself. Definite read for all of us looking for a new take on the old Vampire.”
"The author's fantastic character development and unusual plot kept me captivated from the
beginning to end. A nice entertaining read that I would recommend to all fantasy fans.”
“A fabulous book and one I would highly recommend. Even if you think you are sick of vampires, please do yourself a favor and read this book. The writing style is unique and intriguing, and something I’m sure you will enjoy.”
“This unique book draws you in immediately with a storyline that hasn't been done before. The character development is tremendous, leading the reader to feel compassion, empathy, sadness, anger, and humor throughout the book, because the characters are so relatable. In fact, some of the gut-wrenching difficulties we each go through in relationships are illustrated so vividly, that you forget this book is about a vampire! I found myself drawn to the humanness of Vic, yet rooting for him to bite people!”
Biography of Harris Gray
Harris Gray combines the writing talents of duo Allan Harris and Jason Gray. Together, they have written three novels, two screenplays, a Christmas play and a collection of stories from Jason’s younger days. An early version of their novel Java Man was a finalist in the Rocky Mountain Fiction Writers contest. Allan is a former guest columnist for The Denver Post and Jason owns Crowfoot Valley Coffee and Crowbar, land of rumor and embellishment.
Their collaboration began in Jason’s coffee shop. Allan wrote and eavesdropped as Jason entertained his customers. One day, Allan found a little yellow notepad waiting for him, crammed to the margins with Jason’s exploits. Allan typed them, touched them up, and called it good; but Jason had other ideas. As their tales converged and became inseparable, Harris Gray emerged. While the two couldn’t be more different in how they think and write, Harris says, “There is something wonderful and incredibly cohesive when we create a story together.” In Gray’s words, “We’re something less than Sybil and more than Siamese twins.”
Vampire Vic, the first installment in the darkly funny and relatable trilogy, launched in March 2013. Readers can add the follow-up, Vampire Vic2: Morbius Reborn, to their bookshelves this fall. Harris Gray also released their standalone novel Java Man in November 2013.