Thursday, June 23, 2016

Exclusive Excerpt: This Night Sucks by Elizabeth J.M. Walker

Welcome to the Book Tour for Elizabeth J.M. Walker's new novella, This Night Sucks!

Follow the tour each day to read reviews, guest posts, and exclusive excerpts.

From the author of She Dreamed of Dragons

Title: This Night Sucks

Author Name: Elizabeth J.M. Walker

Genre(s): Young Adult, Paranormal, Fantasy, Vampires, Comedy

Release Date: June 17, 2016

About the Book:

Lana is a high school senior enrolled in Vampire Education – a class to teach students about the very real presence of vampires in the world. Lana and her classmates don’t really expect to meet up with any undead bloodsuckers. Vampires are a lot like other scary things that supposedly exist but you hope you’ll never come across: nudist colonies, mad cow disease, and your parents’ sex life.

What is part of Lana’s everyday reality is navigating through one last year of high school while desperately trying to be less nerdy. She still loves spaceships, fantasy novels, and cat stickers, but she also recently got her braces removed, grew boobs, and is working on the makeup thing. She never expected her crush-of-a-lifetime Pete to even notice her – let alone ask her out on a date. 

The date is going great until Pete’s ex-girlfriend Katy shows up, all bloody and pissed off. Lana quickly realizes that Katy is not just her ordinary bitchy self – she has been turned into a vampire. After a near death experience, Lana learns that she is changing into a vampire too.

Lana needs answers, and the only way to get them is to find the vampire who started the chain of events – and to find him before sunrise... 


I continue to be morbidly embarrassed for the rest of the school day. I feel like I did that one day in grade nine, when I accidently had my shirt on inside-out for the entire morning and no one told me. I try to tell myself I’m making a huge deal out of nothing but my mind has a way of also continuously reminding me about how much I suck at life. I decide to walk home instead of taking the bus to avoid any more possible awkwardness with Claire and Sven, who usually wait at the same bus stop as me. I try to tell myself that by tomorrow I’ll feel better and will go meet them in the usual spot for lunch. I take two steps and then remind myself again about how much I suck at life and how they’re most likely not going to eat in the same spot anymore because they’re probably making a plan to avoid me. Right after they have naked sex. And then I tell myself that most people are naked when they have sex, so calling it “naked sex” is stupid. Then I remind myself that I know nothing about SEX. People could be having fully-clothed sex all over the place for all I knew. And then I picture Claire and Sven having fully-clothed sex. And then I picture Pete and Katy having fully-clothed sex. And all the while I’m staring at my shoes as I walk, so that’s why I don’t realize someone is in front of me and I walk right into them.
It would be so awesome if it was Pete. And I’d drop my stuff. And I’d be super cute as I tried to pick it up and Pete would be all chivalrous and help me. I’d just happen to be carrying a paperback book, something that made me look both cool and smart. Pete would say, “Oh, you’re reading that book that makes you look both cool and smart? That’s my favourite book since I am so cool and smart.” I’d tell him it’s my favourite book too. Then we’d have sex. Fully-clothed or naked, I really don’t care.

Meet the Author:

Elizabeth J. M. Walker lives in Windsor, Ontario, Canada. She has always loved books and writing. As a teen she discovered zines, which inspired her to publish her own litzine of odd fairy tales for over a decade.

She Dreamed of Dragons is her first novel.

Connect with Elizabeth J.M. Walker:


Amazon US: 

Publisher Website: 

Author Website: 


Sapphyria said...

Thank you so much for hosting an exclusive excerpt from Elizabeth JM Walker's This Night Sucks!

Unknown said...

Thank you for being part of the blog tour!