Book
Hangovers: The Pain You Love to Hate Because It Feels So Damn Great
A Guest Post of Pain, Misery, and Utter Contentment
by Ash Krafton
Yep. That was a pretty confusing title. Mostly
because it's paradoxical and logical and completely relatable in all its
horrific ridiculosity.
The term alone: book hangover. Two nouns. One word
is one of the most amazing words ever written. The other word is a syndrome of
withdrawal and physical ache and dejectedness that has nothing positive about
it whatsoever.
Put them both together and you get blessed,
wonderful, hair-pulling complexity. You hate it. But you want it. And you chase
it down, again and again.
What's
a book hangover? asks the person who's been living in a
bubble in the middle of a no-signal book-free wasteland of Why Do I Even
Continue to Exist Because Obviously I Haven't Learned to Truly Live Yet.
For those poor, unfortunate souls, I say this: a
book hangover is the syndrome a reader experiences after having become
completely immersed in a book's world only to be ripped mercilessly out of it
by the words "The End". Two
crueler words have never been uttered.
Look what happens when they show up. Lovers break up
long before one is finished loving. Knitters run out of yarn long before they
are done knitting. Toast butterers find
themselves desperately scraping out the thinnest smears because half their bagel
is still naked but it's no use. They will have to choke down that dry crust
because the butter dish cried "No more!"
And readers are forced to close a book and put it
down because the author said The End and now there are no more pages to read
and those characters live in your head now and the feels aren't done and you
can't sleep because you still see those scenes played out in your head and
work/school is impossible because you can't stop thinking about that damned
book.
Hydration and naps and Alka Seltzer can't fix a book
hangover. But there is a cure.
Kind of.
The
Hair of the Dog That Bit You
Alcohol creates hangovers because as alcohol is
broken down in the body, it gets converted into aldehydes. Unlike fun alcohol,
aldehyde is a miserable old sod, which is why being drunk is a lot more fun
that being hungover. It's science.
But add a little water and those aldehydes undergo
the miracle of transformation and get turned back into alcohol. Bye bye, misery! We got the fun stuff back!
Bloody Marys help, too, because you get hydration,
electrolytes, and a liddle bit of something-something to ease off on the
aldehyde attack. Plus, you get celery to crunch on, and celery is widely if
mistakenly believed to be considered a health food.
So, what's the cure for a book hangover? Not water
or terrible-sounding cocktails, obviously, but there's definitely a need for
some hair of the dog.
Pick up another book.
Yes, it leads to a vicious cycle that leads to memes
and Instagram barrages and new merch at Hot Topic. But let's be honest. There's
no underage fines, no nights in the tank, no drunk dials leading to awkward avoidances
of eye contact later on. That automatically makes it a good thing.
Prevention
isn't Key—It's Condemnation
Of course, you could avoid the whole book hangover
thing by never reading anything ever again. But, a word of caution. Nobody ever
says, Boy, oh boy, abstinence! Do you
know why? Because book abstinence is an unthinkable exile, an unjust
condemnation. Why would you even think about doing that to yourself?
You did nothing wrong. You innocently picked up a
book so you could engage your mind in a pleasing way to pass time. It's not
your fault the characters came to life and rose up from the pages. It's not
your fault their stories were so complex and emotionally riveting that you not
only identified, you lived through them. You cried. You laughed. You
highlighted your favorite passages and made quote art on Pic Monkey and I am
here to tell you that none of it's your fault.
It's the author's.
That author did this to you. She may not have put
the book in front of you and turned each page while you helplessly consumed her
passion and craft but she may as well have. She concocted that wonderful elixir
of plot and personality and perfection. She dreamed up those characters who
haunt your every thought like a sweet echo. She's responsible for the way you
see that book now everywhere you look, every time you go online or walk into a
bookstore.
She's the one who cast this sheen of her book over
every aspect of your life, so that you tear up when you run into Walmart
because you see strawberries in the cooler as soon as you go in and that
character had strawberry-blonde hair and died of diverticulitis because of a
strawberry smoothie she shared with the boy she loved but could never have
because he had to move to the opposite side of the world, like the exact
opposite, drill straight down and there he'd be so you know he couldn't get any
further from her so better diverticulitis than a broken heart. Oh my God, the feels—
So, blame the author. And then blame the next one
because he is going to do the same damn thing to you because you will never,
ever learn. Book hangovers are part of a vicious cycle of love-hate-miserable
joy and I hope there will never ever be a cure for them.
Just as I hope there will be no end to the supply of
authors who cause them.
Spellbound: A Limited Edition Paranormal Romance and Urban Fantasy Collection
Bleeding Hearts
Ash Krafton
Genre: fantasy/ paranormal romance/ urban fantasy
Publisher: genreCRAVE
Date of Publication: May 2, 2017
ASIN: B01N18NFS9
Number of pages: 5000+
Word Count: 1.5 Million +
Cover Artist: Rebecca Frank
Box Set Description:
The Spellbound Boxed Set is a compilation of 20+ Full-Length Urban Fantasy and Paranormal Romance reads!
Readers of all ages will be swept away by this fascinating mix of existing titles and brand new content, full of pages brimming with faeries, witches, vampires, shifters, psychics, Greek gods, angels, demons, and even ghosts!
With over a million words of fiction, this is your one stop shop for urban fantasy, epic fantasy, sword and sorcery, shifter romance, vampire romance, elemental magic, time travel, and MORE from today’s New York Times, USA Today, and internationally bestselling authors!
Although some of these reads may be gritty and dark, this is a collection of clean reads that anyone will enjoy!
Pre-Order Sale Only .99
The collection includes titles from…
International bestselling author Jade Kerrion
NEW YORK TIMES bestselling author Joanne Wadsworth
International bestselling author Nicole Zoltack
International bestselling author Rachel E. Carter
International bestselling author Andrea Pearson
International bestselling author Alicia Rades
International bestselling author Sophie Davis
USA TODAY bestselling author Michael J Ploof
International bestselling author Megan Crewe
International bestselling author C.E. Wilson
International bestselling author Kelly Carrero
International bestselling author Jess Haines
International bestselling author E. Blix
International bestselling author Alexis Kade
International bestselling author GP Ching
International bestselling author Gaja J. Kos and Boris Kos
International bestselling author Dara Fraser
International bestselling author Ash Krafton
International bestselling author Jim Johnson
NEW YORK TIMES bestselling author Tom Shutt
International bestselling author Emily Martha Sorensen
International bestselling author S McPherson
The first chapters of books by each featured author are available in the Spellbound Sampler, available on Wattpad
Book Description Bleeding Hearts by Ash Krafton
Sophie Galen is an advice columnist whose work leaves her neck-deep in other people's problems. Thanks to her compassion, her gut instinct, and her magnetic charm, Sophie really knows how to attract little black clouds.
Marek Thurzo is no little black cloud; he's a maelstrom. Marek is Demivampire, a race with the potential to evolve into vampire. A warrior who's taken his share of spiritual damage, he hovers dangerously close to destruction.
He seeks salvation. She's driven to save him. But what if he can't be saved?
Sympathy for his plight becomes true empathy as Sophie's hidden nature is revealed. Marek suspects she may be one of the Sophia, oracle and redemption of the damned Demivampire. She alone can turn back the evolutionary clock.
All she needs is the courage to face her fears. Can she save him from Falling?
The
following is an excerpt from BLEEDING HEARTS Demimonde Book 1 by Ash Krafton
In the great
hall housing the Egyptian exhibitions, I immediately noted the change in the
atmosphere. The room was cool and dry, its climate controlled to mimic the conditions
in which the relics had existed in their native land.
The entire room
had been designed to resemble an Old Kingdom temple. The main lights were
dimmed while strategically-placed spotlights emphasized massive columns and
magnificent wall carvings like sunbeams through temple windows.
I scanned the
room. No other tourists. Even better. I meandered, enjoying the rare
opportunity to linger.
Craning my neck,
I ran my gaze up each of the columns, reading the images, admiring the palm
leaves carved at the tops like great stone trees. Eyes toward the ceilings, I
turned slowly around, admiring the handiwork of the ancient artists.
What was it like
to live in those lands and those times? Could an ancient version of my spirit
have been there, stepping barefoot and silently through a sandy temple like
this one?
Lost in
contemplation, I was completely unprepared for the shock of smacking into
someone, bumping him hard enough to lose my balance. I'd have fallen had he not
caught my arm. Wide-eyed with consternation, I stammered an apology to the
handsome but serious-faced gentleman.
"You are
not hurt, I hope?" His voice, deep and smooth, sent shivers marching down
my neck, between my shoulders, down my spine.
"I'm
okay." I shook my head, too shy to make direct eye contact, wishing I'd
checked my hair and lipstick before coming in. "I'm far too adept at being
inept."
He flashed a
grin and I caught a glimpse of nice white teeth. "Temples are places for
spiritual reflection. It is forgivable if your vision was turned inward, rather
than toward where you were walking."
His expression
softened by amusement, he tilted his head toward the pillars. "Majestic,
aren't they?"
I stole another
glance at him—black hair smoothed back into a discreet tail, clear light skin
framed by long sideburns, strong jaw culminating in a square, cleft chin. Like
the other items in the museum, something about him made me want to look closer,
inspect each detail.
A subtle flush
warmed my cheeks and ears so I quickly turned back to the heights of the
exhibition. Murmuring a sound of agreement, I circled the column, stepping a
few feet away so I could see both him and the stone. "Do you visit this
museum often?"
Furtive glances
allowed me to take in more of his appearance a tiny section at a time. Clothing
dark as his hair. Long blazer, something in between a suit coat and an
overcoat. In one hand he carried a bound book and fountain pen, as if he'd been
making notes.
His gaze was
calm and steady and entirely on me. Taking a deep breath I permitted the
contact of the direct look. My boldness was well-rewarded. His Paul Newman lips
brought to mind the sculptured busts on display in the Greco-Roman Quarters and
he wore a stern expression that cast a veil of hardness upon his features,
enhancing the impression he'd been carved from marble.
Except for his
eyes. The Roman busts bore eyes that were blank and white but this man's eyes
were alive with bright green color. Like gemstones, they glittered and drew my
gaze.
"No,
actually," he said. "My first time here. Although, I admit, I'm drawn
to places like this." His voice made music of the words—deep bass notes
and soothing rhythm.
"Ah!"
I said. "A man after my own heart." His left eyebrow arched so
sharply I thought it might disappear into his hairline and I hurriedly
continued. "Are you a professor?"
"No,
nothing like that. I do studying of my own, it's not a living. It's more of a
hobby. Personal research, of sorts."
"Studying
past times is one of my pastimes. It's my preferred form of
entertainment."
"Mmm."
Eyebrow cocked again, he cast a disapproving look at me and swept his hand
around the contrived temple. "Would the gods be pleased to know they are
reduced to the level of entertainment?"
"I hope
so." I kept my tone light. Considering the seriousness of his expression,
I didn't want to accidentally insult him. "Otherwise, they'd have to be
content with staying dead, right?"
His gaze swept
over me and I shivered again as if the touch had been tangible, a brush of
fingertips against my cheek.
"Well, I'll
leave you to your worship. I mean, your wanderings." He gave me a
conspirator's wink. "Unless..."
He hesitated,
with a quiet clearing of throat as he tucked his notebook and pen into an
inside pocket. "You wouldn't mind a companion? Sometimes one sees things
differently when seeing through another's eyes. I would appreciate a new
perspective."
I mulled it
over, listening to the rain spattering the windows and distant voices echoing
faintly from other rooms. Although I'd looked forward to a quiet afternoon, it
might be nice to spend it with someone who seemed to share my interests. He
certainly was attractive, and his pleasant voice intrigued me.
I realized I'd
become used to living inside a shell. This man made me want to step outside for
once.
"I'd like
that." I smiled at his pleased expression. "I'm Sophie, by the
way." I stuck out my hand in introduction.
Instead of
shaking my hand, he bent his head over it and pressed polite lips to the backs
of my fingers. The quaint gesture would have seemed strange and out of place
had we been elsewhere. "I am Marek. Pleased to make your
acquaintance."
Fingers tingling
from the unexpected kiss, I fought the urge to curtsy. "Well, Marek. Lead
me into the past."
His almost-smile
sent a thrill down the back of my neck. "That's exactly the sort of thing
I'd hoped you say. Shall we?"
He turned on his
heel and swept out a hand with a slight bow, indicating the archway to another
exhibit. For the first time since I'd been coming to this museum, I wondered
what I'd see on the other side, and was surprised to realize I wasn't afraid to
find out.
About the Author:
A speculative fiction girl through and through, Ash writes paranormal romance and urban fantasy novels as well as poetry and short fiction. She also writes for New Adult audiences under the name AJ Krafton. Her work has won a bunch of awards and was even nominated for a Pushcart Prize. When she's not writing, she's practicing Tai Chi, listening to loud rock and metal, or crushing on supervillains.
Most recently, she's re-released her urban fantasy trilogy THE BOOKS OF THE DEMIMONDE because she never really left the world of Sophie and her Demivamps. She's also working on the next installment of her Demon Whisperer series.
Find out more when you visit www.ashkrafton.com
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